Dean.

Um, how much more confused could I be about him? He knows the one biggest part of my life, and he doesn't care at all. I think that's something. Because you know, Andrew made such a big deal about it. But Dean....he didn't. He told me it was cool and then we kind of forgot about it. I haven't talked to him much. Because of the whole mom-won't-let-me-over-Lacey's-dad's-house thing. I wish I could go over there. Hopefully I'll be able to. Honestly, I do like Dean. He reminds me of Alex, yet more...out there? I don't know. Dean talks. Alex doesn't. But I'm afraid I'd hurt Lacey. After all, he is her step-brother. I wouldn't want things to be weird for her. But will I be able to help it? I guess I could just keep things to myself. But we all know how badly that can end sometimes. Besides, Kelli practically hates Dean. She wouldn't be alright if she knew I liked him. Lacey wouldn't even talk to me when I brought that up. I don't know what to do. I mean, Lacey called me from her dad's cell phone today, and I could hear Dean in the background. I got butterflies. And he's not even around. I want to call Lacey back, but because i could hear him, I'm afraid to. It'd be weird. Plus she called a few hours ago. Would it be okay to call her back so later afterwards?? I'm not sure. I'm not too good with the whole talking on the phone thing. I'll decide sooner or later. But I don't know what I'll choose: call her back or bail out and talk to her after the break.

3oh!3

One of the best videos I have ever seen. By far, this guy made a better music video than 3oh!3 had. It's more...fun to watch. The other one's kind of weird. So yeah, this guy did awesome. Bravo!

Arrrg.

Haven't been on here much lately. Wish I could've been. I've made things on Iconator and stuff. Um. I don't like anyone anymore. Ome, Beth is going out with Mikey. My Mikey! But whatever. I don't care anymore. I'm done with the whole liking people for a while. Um, we're off for Thanksgiving break and all that. Dommy and them are over and mom's at school. Um, I wrote some things on paper, but I hadn't posted them here. A topic for this entry would be nice.

Ah, yes. Twilight. I saw it on Saturday. Was it as good as the books? No. Was it still totally wicked awesome? No doubt! I think they captured Edward and Bella's relationship really well. They nailed almost all the parts. Some minor details such as how Alice and Bella didn't really click and Bella's iPod were about it. But not entirely noticeable. Only to a true fan =] Kaleb made some good points in his review on Twilight. Basically I have his same opinions. Same favorite parts. I assure you, if you haven't seen the movie, his site doesn't contain any spoilers =] But all I can say is that Twilight was the best. They made it perfectly. Not only that but New Moon is already being produced. I can't wait for Jacob to come into the picture more! I think they picked a good guy to play Jake. New Moon will be good. Rob said he can't wait to do his suicidal scene, haha. I can't either. I think he'll capture Edward's feelings about that well. Once again, can't wait! XD Well, Au revoir!

Dang it!

I have fallen for someone you will not believe. Mike. Ugh. How did this happen? We come from two different places, but we're so much alike. Lucky him, he has his sight already. I have to wait until I'm 14 before I'll be able to see perfectly. But he tells me how great it is. More like rubs it in. But even though a lot of people think he's a freak, I understand everything. Of course, I have good reason: we're going through the same thing. Though no one knows that, it's true. He and I are a lot alike yet totally different. He'll say or do something and I'll understand it perfectly. I don't want to like him. Hopefully, it won't end in something. want to have some what of a normal life. I guess it wouldn't be so bad if something more were to come, but still. The world would be against us completely. Even if we get along perfectly fine. People think Mikey's crazy when he blurts out some things, I just laugh, because all it is is an "inside thing." That's it. Done deal, my friends. We get each other, that's as far as I'm going on with this.

Well then.

Guess who's screwed? That's right, none other than moi. I missed a whole bunch of French because of my stupid klutziness. Now I'm going to be sitting in class tomorrow, wondering what the heck everyone is saying. Great. Just what I need. Not to mention Emili has been reading my blogs on myyearbook. That's even worse. So, everything I put in that stupid thing, she's most likely read. All my stupid sayings and confessions. Dang. Just what I need, someone else to think I'm a freak. I've already got this new girl on my bus scared. Ah, hell. Whatever. I don't care. Just as long as they don't talk to me, I'm fine. I don't want to have to repeat 6th grade again. That was pure murder. And you probably have no idea what I'm talking about. but that's fine. I don't really want to go into it. I'll just give a recap:

I said something to Andrew, his mom found out, I got sent to the guidance consular. They called my parents, I got my laptop taken out of my room, and so my love of reading expanded. But I never forgave any of them for what they did to me. I'm a very unusual being, deal with that. I say things and do things normal people don't do. But hey, I'm not a normal person. Neither is Mikey, but no one seems to care. I wish I could be him. He doesn't have to worry about his parents finding things out and putting him away in some asylum. Of course, I do. Sometimes, I wish my grandmother never smoked. I wish she was here. She understood everything. Everything went downhill when she died. I got labeled as "goth" and became introduced to different things that she would have known everything about. No one would get that. And I don't want you to. I'm not on drugs or anything. That would be stupid. So don't even start thinking that. It's just, my family history is what I'm trying to say. Things that went back a few centuries and now is up to me. I don't know why or how, but it is. And not a day goes by where I regret it. Without this knowledge, I would have never known Ivory. Without him, I wouldn't have Damien, Erron, or Icefire here with me today. I wouldn't have any of the friends I have now. They wouldn't know me or care about me like they do now. They'd just see me as the goth girl who never speaks. That's how I'm seen to people now. Without them around, that's all I am to people. All I am to anyone. But you know what, you'll never see me care about what people think about me. If they say something to me, I might just go Jacob Black on them. I'm not afraid to. I'm not afraid of them, of anything. The only thing I am afraid of, is losing everything that matters most to me.

Ome

<--- It's perfect! I usually hate dresses, but this one is just amazing. It's simple, and just my style. The 8th grade dance is at the end of the year, and sadly I'm going alone. But hey, whatever. I don't care. I wasn't even going to it until I saw this. Where else would I wear this to? No where, exactly my point. But, for right now at least, this dress is out of stock. So I'll have to wait on ordering it. But it's only $10. And that's the sale price. Otherwise it still isn't too much money. But it's at Areopostile. And I don't normally wear their stuff. But whatever! I like this a lot. I can picture myself wearing it. Actually, Ivory can picture me wearing it. Erron, Damien, and Icefire can, too. But then again Ice agrees with everything Ivory says. I'm kidding, Ice. Don't freak on me! Well, I think I'm about done with my dress excitement.

Watch out

Hm, guess how I spent my morning today. Well, let me tell you. It was not fun. AT ALL.

5 minutes before my bus came, I went downstairs to get a juice box for lunch. Sounds simple enough. But no, I'm on the second to last step, my ankle cracks, I fall down. It hurt so bad I started crying. And that's hard to make me do. So right now, I'm sitting on the couch in an empty house trying not to move my ankle. I have crutches and the works. I was at the hospital for about ...uhhhh... 3 or 4 hours. It sucked. The ER was practically empty and it took them forever. So yeah, my day sucked. And I might have to go to school tomorrow, too. So that's even worse. I can barely use the dang crutches right!

Well, I'm bored as heck. Might as well talk to Tyson for a little while.

Good/bad mood

Ha. I adore Colby. He's my bestest buddy 4 life. fo sho! lol but seriously he's the best. He's always there and he gets everything. We laugh a lot and all that. We talk about everything. I keep his secrets and he keeps mine. Sometimes it's hard to find someone who would do that for you.

& with my last gasping
breath I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt.

Yep. Funny how things work out that way, right? Right.

Why are you here? Are
you listening? Can you
hear what I am saying? I am not here. I'm not
listening. I'm in my head and I'm
spinning.

Listening to music. Ah. Fun, I know. Just got finished a
bunch of icons. One of which took me (no lie) 2 hours to finish. But then
again
I was talking to Colby, Sara, and Ashley. So, yeah. But still. It got
done and
it looks good. Well, I'm tired. So I think I'm done.

How cool is this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxQcBKUPm8o

Or you can click on the blog title.